A Mothers Vent

My children and I were sitting down to yet another night of Mac-n-Cheese and whatever vegetable was in the refrigerator, when my third eldest said "mom, we should take a vacation and go to Hawaii"; I coughed and almost choked on my .95 Mac-n-Cheese. "Honey", I replied "if you think we could afford a holiday in Hawaii or for that matter anywhere, would we be sitting here eating this cardboard tasting cheap dinner?" I cannot even afford to buy decent food let alone take a holiday. It was certainly a let down for all of them. They moaned and pouted throughout the rest of our meek dinner...I felt like a loser of a mom. Wow, I thought to myself I cannot even take my kids on a two day holiday anywhere, there are no funds to be had. Now, if I had not put braces on all 4 of them, taken out college loans for the eldest, have them in a tuition laden school, buy them clothes, pay for their medical and dental insurance, drive them wherever they wish to go, let their friends live here for free, buy them birthday, Christmas gifts, pay for their driver’s license, pay for their haircuts, their electricity, their water, their Netflix, their shampoo, tooth paste, make up, their books, school needs, social needs, extra curriculum school activities, piano lessons, house rent, paints, canvas...(need I go on)then maybe I would have the funds and would be able to take them on a much needed holiday. But this is not the case. Someone has to take care of them and I do it all with love, care and moments of serenity.
After "I" did the dinner dishes and finished helping them with their homework and finished all my papers for my classes I had them sit down in front of our little TV and made them watch a beautiful film called "The Human Experience." They all protested at first but they did not cross me at that moment, they knew I was not to be out voted. "The Human Experience" is a film made by two young men in their early 20's who had grown up in a very low income part of Queens, NY and dealt with growing up along gangs, thugs and alcoholic and drug addicted parents...who basically did not give a damn about them. These young men set out on a journey experiencing life from every angle. They first lived homeless in the streets of NY for an entire month. Sleeping in card board boxes, begging for money for food and showering in shelters. After a month of grime and hunger (and the loss of 20 pounds apiece) they decided to go further. They went back to living at their previous home, which was a house run by a church where they began to work and saved money to go to third world countries. They documented their experience through the lens of a hand held camera.
There most saddening and rewarding moments came as they struggled to help keep children alive from malnutrition and disease in India and lived with an orphanage in Peru where all the children were mentally or physical handicap. They fell in love with all these children and lived as they did not knowing if they would survive the coming days or weeks or months. The love and tenderness they gave all of these children and the respect they gave to those who cared for them was insurmountable.
These young men wanted nothing in return 9unlike so many other Americans, who feel these deserve everything and more), they just wanted to help in any way human possible way. It was beautiful, heart wrenching, sad but glorious.
From the corner of my eyes I watched my children viewing this film and saw their expressions change from fear, sadness and elation. They all cried during moments of tenderness and when viewing and hearing how some of these children were treated by parents and society. I wanted my children to see how blessed we are, how much they have, how the rest of the world lives. Yes, so many millions of people have so, so, so much more than we do but we survive and are healthy (with the exception of my eldest) and have a Government that sometimes gives a shit about us.
At the end of the film my children were somber but full of questions and statements. It was what I wanted; I prevailed at teaching my children through the eyes of others just how much we have. It was a good night. I taught them a valuable lesson that I believe so many parents do not. Not saying all parents other than myself do not teach their children values, principles and morals, for I am not the best mother, I do not always make the best decision but I try and try and try to do what is best for my children and those that stumble into my home when they have no other place to go. However, if we could all teach our children that living is a gift perhaps they would find more reason to be filled with joy for what they have and not what they want?