Venting Mothers' Blog

This is the first blog I have every participated in.

I try with all my might to not add sarcasm into so much I write. But with all honesty I find it more than difficult. I vent. We all vent. Does not matter who we are, which economic social status we find our selves in...I find myself in one and one only and it is not the glamorous one that does not have a day to day stress factor trying to keep within a budget.  A way of life, the daily grind raising four children as a single mother, living off one income (mine) and receiving not a penny of child support or alimony. Now when I vent, I do not look for : sympathy, I simply want to vent. Venting is a cheaper, safer way of keeping sanity. In other words opening a bottle of wine and locking the bedroom door behind me to keep out the numerous amount of children that are raising havoc in my house, keeping the zoo of animals from following me and vying for my attention and simply keeping everything that is reality on the other side of that door. Do not want to do that, it would not be fair to the children nor the zoo.
Friday August 24, 2012. Up at 4:30, one sick child out of four...not bad, an extra child the age of 13 months with me for an extended amount of time, driving one child to Scottsdale for school, driving back to Mesa to get the others off to their school in Tempe, dropping off the baby at day care and then rushing to Chandler to get arrive at my job by 7:30 am. This is the daily grind of the morning. By the time I get to my office I am wiped out, done, spent and ready to find that door.
I do not take a lunch, for if I were to do this is would feel too close to some false luxury and I might get used to it. I work above and beyond for fear that if I do not I will be looked upon as a slacker. I know there are a few woman in my office that are also faced with the reality of being a single parent and I feel for them, but then I know the majority of the women I work with have a husband, a significant other that helps with the bills, dinners, lunches, doctor appointments, dental appointments, teacher conferences, perhaps the laundry, the vacuuming, the yard, the zoo, the up keep of the car (I am trying to find the time to learn the skills of changing my own car oil) and everything else that takes place in the world of day to day living.
I watched my mother do the same exact thing but she had five children and was lucky enough to have child support and alimony but it did take its toll on her and she decided enough was enough and left in the middle of the night to Guadalajara with some man she had met at a car wash. It was several decades before we saw her again.Makes me laugh now. But I digress.
It is a wonder so many of us even get through a day knowing during the tossing and turning of the constant fitful sleep that takes place on a nightly basis that another day is upon us.
I will wait to return to my blog to start on the second half of the day: the leaving of my office at an early 5:00 pm and the commencement of the driving all over town to begin the process of picking up children and stressing about the rest of the day.
Yes, I find venting very useful although it has brought on some rather unusual remarks from some of my very close friends...they are all married, all stay at home mom's that bake cookies all day and wow, find the time and money to spend countless hours at the salon.
I love my children they are my entire life, I love my zoo. I am the care taker of all and I do it with love, sweat and tears, but I do it and somehow, someway, perhaps through the grace of God or Buddha or the universe I survive...with a crooked smile and a tarnished halo.